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NYSC Diary DAY 7: Which Nigerian Tribe Eats The Most?

A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.


4:00 a.m. 

I wake up and look at my phone. 4 on the dot. Perfect.  I slept early last night so I definitely feel much better this morning. I pick up my bucket to go and fetch some water to take a bath. My roommates are not awake. Who asked them to be sleeping late?

As my bucket is getting filled up, I open my WhatsApp. I scroll through messages to see who I’ll reply first and then I see that someone sent me two voice notes by 3 a.m. I met her when I was searching for people to talk to for Abroad Life, we talked and I published her story. A lot of people read and loved it. And then we became friends. But it was still strange that she would send me a two voice notes by 3:a.m. 

I press play. Omo I just dey smile like fool. She was telling me about how she just binge read NYSC diaries and how much she loved all the stories. 

We text until my bucket becomes full. I put my phone back on Airplane Mode. The day is about to start. 

5:16 a.m. 

I’m one of the first people to get to the parade ground. See what good sleep can do for someone? I see the dumbbells that are meant for the soldiers. They warn us everyday not to try to lift them without supervision. I have coconut head. I lift them and I’m impressed with myself. I check my muscles if they’ve gotten bigger since my 5-minutes of workout. They have. I will do this everyday and come out of here looking like Hulk Hogan. 

6:05 a.m. 

At the devotion grounds, this woman begs us that if we’re sick, we should go home. She keeps saying it so much, it becomes suspicious. Why is she trying to get us to go home? I will not fall sick and go home. I want to see what they’ll share to the people that decide to stay. Nobody can cheat me. 

10:49 a.m

I’m in OBS while the normal people (read: peasants)  have been in SAED since 9 a.m. I love this job. I’m just chilling, charging my phone and texting. This is the most time I’ve had with my phone since I got here. I like OBS. 

11:00 a.m.

I’m on the phone with my dad. We’re having a 20-minute conversation about my NYSC diary. He’s my biggest fan. He texts me everyday and we talk about the story of that day. Today we talk about it on a call. Nice stuff. 

2:45 p.m. 

I don’t hate them o, but it’s God that will judge my roommates. I’m here trying to sleep and they are arguing about which Nigerian tribe eats meat more. I want to stand up and fight but I’m also trying to close my eyes and sleep. 

There was no light, so I couldn’t do my show at OBS that was meant to start by 2. I came to hostel to sleep and five minutes after I started sleeping they started this argument. 

It goes on for ages, this particular topic. Yoruba people win. Because the guy representing has lived in Ibadan for a few years and he sees how people order one wrap of amala with seven meats at Amala Sky. Everyone is amazed. Another Yoruba roommate says one time he and 6 family members conquered 48 pieces of meat one time at a bukka. 

I’m lost for words. But at this point, I make up my mind that whenever I see these people sleeping, I will disturb them. 

I am a man of war. 

8:06 p.m. 

The sponsors of the daily social nights we have are addressing us again. They address us everyday. I try to listen but I swear I can never understand what they’re trying to say. It’s like they’re saying something different everyday. 

Today the man tells us that they’re ready to give us jobs. We don’t need qualifications and we don’t need to apply. We just need our personal information and voters card. 

Come off it my dear. We’ve watched Oloture. 

Look at their flyer sef.


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