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Kaitlin Akwada: A Letter to My Younger, Romantic Self

Dear Kay,

There is so much I want to tell you. I don’t even know where to start. It’s often said that love is the most powerful force in the world. Barbara De Angelis describes love as “a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible; it cannot be seen or measured, yet, it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” 

We all want to be loved and feel cherished by the people we hold dear. But sometimes, in our bid to experience love at all costs, we often get involved with people who are not right for us, just to avoid being lonely. But love should not be forced. These important reminders will guide you on your journey to self-actualization:

Love will find you at the right time

Slow down and be patient. There’s a philosophy that the thing you are searching for will find you just when you stop looking. Do not search for love desperately, it will find you at the right time when you least expect it. Love needs to happen by itself,  you can’t rush it.

Love should be organic

Let love happen to you naturally. It should not be burdensome or forced; it should flow organically. Truth is, you can’t force love. It’s either there or it isn’t. Take your mind off your fairytale “happily ever after” for a second and let Creation work its magic. 

Fall in love with the process of becoming the best version of yourself 

By loving and developing yourself, you set the tone for how you want to be treated in a relationship. Add value to your life and go after the things you are passionate about. Pursue your goals and be open to what lies ahead.

Not every friendship will lead to a relationship  

Allow yourself to experience healthy friendships. Let go of the idea that every friendship should automatically lead to a romantic relationship. There is truly a purpose for everyone you meet in your life. Each one will teach you a valuable lesson without necessarily having to be romantically linked with you.

Do not ignore red flags  

Do not get swept off by the notion of love that you completely ignore the warning signs in a relationship. Ignoring red flags in a relationship because you want to see the good in your partner will cost you later. If someone is clearly not the one for you, don’t force a connection.

The only person that can give your life meaning is you  

You owe it to yourself to live a purposeful life. You can’t go through life expecting your partner to give meaning to your life. Be content in your own company and always remember that you are the captain of your own ship.

Do not settle for a one-sided relationship  

If you are investing most of the energy and effort in a relationship, it will get draining in the long run and become difficult to sustain. Relationships are definitely worth fighting for, but you cannot be the only one fighting.

P.S: With or without a relationship, be your own person

and remember that you are completely whole, Kay.


Your future self.

Featured image: Dreamstime

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