I love Nigerian women and I want the best for them. That’s why I’ve come to beg them to not carry some of these behaviours into 2023. It’s a new year; it’s time to do better. Please, don’t do any of these things from today henceforth.
Not knowing what to eat
This year, I need you people to please make life easier for people who care about you. How? By knowing what the hell you want to eat when you’re asked. No more “I don’t know”. Mention a meal, snack, fruit, human being, anything apart from “I don’t know”.
Terrible flirting skills
Staring at someone for five minutes, or liking two of their pictures on social media, won’t be accepted as flirting in 2023. Put. In. The. Work.
I spent New Year’s Eve in church specifically praying that pasta releases the chokehold it has on Nigerian women. I want more for you and your palate. It’s enough. Time to move forward in life.
Being shy to say you have money
Nigerian women are rich. They’re the real ballers in this life, but they always like to deny it. My good sis, we know the weave you have on your head can pay somebody’s house rent. You can’t hide your wealth, so just own it with your full chest.
Being the planners and organisers
When women were created, they weren’t given the job description of “planner/organiser”. Let other people also plan and organise dates, weddings, parties, vacations, things needed in the house etc., while you relax and drink wine for a change.
Saying you don’t want food
…then eating the offerer’s own. You don’t always know you want what you’re being offered when they offer it, and that’s why you say no. But you should know by now that you’ll always end up wanting it, so just say yes instead of pinching from their food, FGS.
Planning a girls’ trip and not going
Don’t worry, I’ve already thought ahead and written a detailed article on how to plan a girls’ trip and actually go for it. This year, you and the girls will make it to the Maldives.
Wearing high heels for the sake of beauty
My queens, I beg you to choose comfort this 2023. Instead of carrying slippers up and down while staggering in uncomfortable heels, just wear the slippers from home. Your feet are crying, please.
Frontals with the lace showing
“What lace?” The one that’s showing right there, sis. I can see it all the way from here, and it’s not blending with your skin. Please, don’t bring it into 2023. It’s not by force to do frontal. Closure wigs and braids are also there.
Saying you’re emotionally fine when you’re not
If you’re angry, say you’re angry and stop cooking your anger in your chest. You’re only giving yourself a headache.