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For Slow Lovers: How to Heal from a Breakup

Breakups are hard, whether we admit it or not. A terrible breakup can have you in bed, weeping and refusing to eat for days. Even when it’s a mutual agreement to part ways, you might still struggle to navigate it. 

Some people get over heartbreaks faster than others and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But for us slow lovers, here’s a list of things that helped me get over my own  break up. 

Don’t lie to yourself

First, don’t lie to yourself about what happened. It has happened and there’s no going back. Also, forget about getting back together. It does you more harm than good. 

Don’t stalk them 

Don’t read their tweets hoping for an inside joke or subs about missing you. They have new jokes now, new experiences you’re not part of, and you have yours too. This is a call to look at what’s in front of you. 

RELATED: What She Said: How My Boyfriend Became My Stalker

Detach

Remember that they are not your person, not anymore. This means you won’t get updates on what they’re up to, if they got their visa, when they’re leaving or if they like the new girl they’re seeing. None of these concern you. You will learn to mind your business. 

Don’t contact them 

Don’t send them messages trying to check how they are doing, especially if you didn’t end your relationship on good terms. Remember that before you, they were okay, and after you, they’d still be okay. This also applies to you. 

Cry

Cry when you want to. Hold yourself when you cry. There’s no use pretending you’re bigger than the hurt. You are a person who feels things. This too shall pass. 

Fall in love 

Fall in love. Not just with people but with things. Go outside, breath in air tainted with humanity. Go to the beach, watch how the waves come and go. Remind yourself that life is in cycles. 

RELATED: Love Life: It Took Us 9 Years to Fall in Love

Talk to your friends

Talk to your friends; let them soothe you. Tell them about the pain. Don’t feel like you’re being a burden and no one wants you. They want to be there for you, so let them. 

Affirm yourself 

Remind yourself that you’re still the sun. Acknowledge your part in the breakup. Make your pledge to be better. Make a home in yourself so when this happens again, you know your way back.

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