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How to Fight Your Nigerian Parents and Win

If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter.

You can’t

First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out in tears. But if you must win by all means, whatever you see, you just have to take it like that.

Give them the silent treatment

Nothing itches a Nigerian parent’s body like receiving silent treatment. They’ll probably not talk to you too but they’ll be dying inside.

Smile and play with everyone else but them

The silent treatment is not enough. You need to show them that you’re enjoying life without them because no one gets as jealous as a Nigerian parent.

Give them grandkids

Sometimes, these fights happen because they’re bored and need something to riff about. Help them refocus their energy by giving them grandkids so they can leave you alone.

ALSO READ: My Parents Thought I’d Become Wayward Overnight, but I Was Just a First Daughter Looking for Freedom

Report them to your local pastor since they already call them “Daddy” or “Mummy”

Your parents also have someone they answer to. Take the fight to church and put it in the hands of God. Let them know you have more than a few tricks up your sleeve.

Tell them you’re not interested in getting married

You’ll be breaking their hearts but what’s your business with that? You’re at war and you need to use every means possible to win. 

Send them a WhatsApp broadcast message

Create a whatsapp broadcast with your fighting points and send them to your family group chat. You can even leave the group right after,for effect.

Threaten to call your grandparents

They definitely won’t see this one coming. Recruit your grandparents to join your fight because if you can’t win against your parents, then they definitely can’t win against theirs.

Be prepared to move out

How can you win a fight against them and think you still have a house? You need to prepare for the homelessness that comes with winning.

READ THIS NEXT: 8 Solid Ways to Become Your Parents’ Favourite Child

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